I woke from my second nap this morning feeling dissatisfied with myself. Because I haven't had a real book published yet after years of writing them. A good old friend kind of pushed me into this because he wants to publish a lifetime bibliography of my work. All that could go into it would be assignments I've performed for others, nothing of myself.
I've wasted two years letting everyone know how miserable I am and now I'm fat and out of shape and I want to change things... profoundly. I intend to pull myself out of this mood and mode.
I've already begun.
More later, I hope. Let's see if this New Me can make the changes necessary.
1 comment:
Don ! This sounds like a good start! A mysterious sort of masked mission statement. As I have proven to myself in he last 4 years the body and its actions and or lack of action, as it may be, is connected to the mind. My mind tells me it wants me to achieve great feats. My body says "No !!! Not until you create the great and boring feat of fixing me, your body." Now my mind has simpler goals like to walk to the car from the shop with a loaf of bread. "Still my body says, "No ! " And I suffer with with my cane leaning against various hot hot cars on a mid summer's day, until I reached my own. "Not until you do the simple boring physical therapy every day of the week for near 8 more weeks."
But once I have have achieved this therapy and then lose my excess weight that holds me back through pain and limited movement to even write, let alone to go out to the farmer's field and learn to to toil in organic soil and make videos and mini documentaries. I cannot even at this time in my life achieve the simplest of small goals to work in a green grocery that needs employees because my back will only let me stand up still or sit still for as few as 12minutes at a time. (But, it will allow me to walk strait with trekking poles for as long as 1 hour.)
Once i achieve the the health of my body and Inknow I will achieve the wealth of my mind. I shall never take myself for granted again.
Side note: I just had a full blood test, and for all that I've been through with abuse of my body and soul, my blood work came back to show that I am very healthy. All organs and even blood pressure working at with high grades. A testament to the way I treated my body and health prior to my initial broken bones and breakdowns and breakdown. All organs are ready to be of help to me as soon as I complete my physical therapy and rehabilitation, all I have to do is to commit. I have committed myself now for the first time in 5 or 6 years.
Commitment is the key, Don. Eh? Commit to your body and then honor it by achieving what your mind knows you can do.
And I think, most importantly, if you should fail yourself for a day a two or laze about slothingly here or there, don't give up. Just wake up the next day and continue to honor your tasks. We're only human.
Anyway, good for you. Sounds like a change is gonna come to you AND me. :-)
Love, Christina
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